"Many men tell us they feel burned out at midlife:
"I’m tired of it all."
"I just want to escape."
"When is it time for me?"
"I’m tired of giving, giving, giving."" (Jim Conway)
70 million of us are entering midlife every year!
12 million in America alone! Here you will find online resource for men and women in Mid-life transition providing immediate answers for men in midlife crisis and the wives committed to loving them.
Often the discovery that you are in a midlife crisis can be a shock but also revealing. Our own research indicates that above 30% of men after around age 34 feel irritable, need to withdraw, and are often tempted to explore a completely different avenue of life than they have experienced to date. Unhappiness with life, and primarily your married life, seems to be foremost in your mind. This is normal. What frequently occurs though is that a man feeling ‘out-of-place’ in life and marriage is cast headlong into a male depression and often feels no way of escape. The term “midlife crisis” is really a misnomer; the things that often typify a midlife crisis are really the things we men employ to assuage the sadness we feel at middle life. Read more about this in this website.
Wives of men in midlife crisis often receive the greater shock! Their once comfortable home is suddenly shaken with everything that will rip it apart! Your husband may suddenly seem to change. He may rather suddenly tell you that he is unhappy and has been for a while. He loves you but he no longer feels ‘in love’ with you. He wants space. He wants time alone or separate from the marriage. More often than not this ‘speech’ of unhappiness occurs because he is already attached emotionally or physically to another woman. He may tell you this with open honesty while spelling out his unhappiness or you may discover it later on. We believe that another relationship during his ‘unhappiness’ in the marriage is incidental and not the cause of it. Hundreds of case histories on our forums and elsewhere prove this out. Infidelity at this mid time of life is seldom a case of simple adultery or of men behaving badly; it runs much deeper than this; it could be a ‘midlife crisis’.
Explore the links at your left and see if your life is being impacted by a midlife transition or even a midlife crisis. Although all men will experience midlife transition; not all experience a midlife crisis. Here on this website and forum we understand this and will help you through both.
Midlife Transition / Midlife Crisis
The difference between a transition and a crisis are the choices we make. Yes, all of us men in midlife crisis chose to go there and this is why we cannot claim temporary insanity even though it was and need to take responsibility for our actions at the end of the day.
So a little check-up from the neck-up might help if you are concerned that midlife crisis may be in the wings.
Primary internal features at the onset are:
·Feel tired of running, running, running; like a gerbil on his wheel, the running brings you nowhere.
·Disappointment and sadness over how your life has turned out as your youthful goals seem to be going down the drain.
·Reassessing your life to date and making choices for the future – for midlife crisis this includes the idea that you are not content to wake up at 80 years old unsatisfied with what you have because you continued it from today on.
·The reassessing tells you – “what if this is as good as it gets”?
·You feel caught in a trap
·You ask; “what about me now, when is it my turn?”
·You experience a growing need to get away from it all.
·You are cast into an overwhelming sense of failure.
·Male Depression settles on you.
·This is the midlife crisis pivot point where we either chose to get help for the temporary depression or tough it out. Toughing it out means ‘covering it over’. When we cover it over because ‘real men’ don’t feel this way it does not go away; it goes covert. Covert Male Depression is not seen by the classic signs of depression but by those things we employ to assuage it – risk taking, gambling, alcohol use, drug use, acts of bravado, womanising, an emotional affair, pornography, physical affairs, and so on… they become the “feel-good antidotes to our depression”.
·Covert Depression with its accompanying denial and feel-good antidotes yield a full-blown Midlife Crisis.